Ever so often, I wonder if I am doing things for myself or if I am doing things to please others. 

It’s a question that lingers in my mind as I go through each day, trying to find the delicate balance between self-care and selfishness. In a world that constantly emphasizes the importance of looking after oneself, it's easy to tip the scales too far and forget about the people around us, and vice versa. 

But every time I reflect on my day and actions, I think about how I can balance between caring for myself and caring for others.

Defining Self-Care and Selfishness

Self-care is about looking after your physical, mental, and emotional health. For me, it's those morning gym sessions or quiet evenings with my favourite YouTubers. It's recharging so I can be my best self. While others may think watching videos online may be a waste of time, it’s where I draw inspiration from. 

But then there's selfishness, which is when you start prioritizing your own needs at the expense of others. It's when self-care stops being about nurturing yourself and starts being about neglecting your relationships. It’s sometimes OK to be selfish if you think the pros outweigh the cons, but selfishness is not the way if you are just greedy for something. 

Finding that sweet spot where you’re taking care of yourself but not ignoring the people around you is crucial.

Signs of Overdoing Self-Care

There was a time when I got so into my self-care routine that I started isolating myself from friends and family. I enjoyed my alone time a bit too much and noticed that I wasn’t socializing as I had used to. What started as a quest for inner peace became a bubble of solitude. Once I realized the imbalance, I tried to venture out and reach out to my friends again. Other times, I'd cancel plans or ignore calls, justifying it as 'me-time.' Looking back, I realize I neglected my responsibilities and those who mattered to me.

There were moments when my self-care turned into entitlement. Phrases like "I deserve this" or "I need this more than anyone else" began to creep into my vocabulary, signalling a shift towards selfishness. Ask yourself, “Do you need this, or do you want this?” 

Practical Tips to Avoid Selfishness in Self-Care

Setting healthy boundaries has been a game-changer. It's about saying no without guilt and yes without overcommitting. It’s okay to decline an invitation but it’s important to be present and engaged when I participate.

Sometimes, you should consider whether you are always saying yes to other people because you actually want to do what you agreed to. It's okay to disagree and prioritize your own needs occasionally. Being mindful helps me stay aware of my actions and their impact on others. It’s a simple practice that reminds me to be present and considerate, even during my self-care routines.

Finding the sweet spot between self-care and selfishness is all about balance. It’s about taking time for ourselves while remaining mindful of our impact on those around us. Reflect on your self-care practices. Are they enriching your life and the lives of others? If you find yourself tipping towards selfishness, remember that a slight adjustment can make a world of difference.