Health and WellnessBetty ShenTravel, mental health, family, family time, meditation, breathing, take a break, calm

KEEPING CALM || Thriving in Irritating Situations with Grace and Ease

Health and WellnessBetty ShenTravel, mental health, family, family time, meditation, breathing, take a break, calm
KEEPING CALM || Thriving in Irritating Situations with Grace and Ease

I recently went travelling to Toronto with friends, family, and even family of friends. 

What was meant to be a fun and relaxing getaway turned into a test of patience. There were moments when people were not on time, took too long to get ready, and couldn't make decisions about where to eat. They also expected me to know all the answers about the trip, from how long we should walk to where we should go next, even though they could have easily searched online. These experiences taught me valuable lessons on maintaining calm and enjoying the trip despite the challenges. 

Here’s how I managed to keep calm and how you can do the same in similar situations.

Understanding Group Dynamics:

Travelling with a group means accommodating various preferences, schedules, and personalities. Recognizing this helped me set realistic expectations and prepare mentally for the trip.

Techniques to Stay Calm:

1. Deep Breathing:

    • Whenever I felt overwhelmed or irritated, I took a moment to breathe deeply. Inhaling slowly through my nose for a count of four, holding for four seconds, and exhaling through my mouth for six seconds helped reduce stress and refocus my mind.

2. Mindful Observation:

    • Instead of reacting immediately to an irritating situation, I took a step back and observed my surroundings. Noticing the details – the architecture, the sounds, the people – grounded me in the present moment and provided a sense of calm. 

While having company is great, everyone needs alone time to gather their thoughts. When going on a trip with multiple people, you may see yourself needing this alone time for the benefit of your mental health. 

3. Distance or exercise: 

  • Regular exercise is a great way to manage stress and improve my mood. Whether it’s just walking alone or taking a break from being social with the rest of the group, this helped me gather my thoughts rather than react impulsively. 

Cognitive Approaches:

1. Reframing:

    • When faced with an irritating situation, I reframe it in a positive light. For example, if I’m waiting for someone who is late, I use that time to explore my surroundings or enjoy a quiet moment. I also remind myself that this is not a “life or death” situation – they are just a few minutes late, and we are supposed to be having fun on vacation!

2. Acceptance:

    • Accepting that some things are beyond my control has been crucial. Instead of resisting or getting frustrated, I focus on what I can control – my reaction and my mindset. We’ll still be able to get through the activities for the day. 

3. Gratitude Practice:

    • Cultivating gratitude shifts my perspective and reduces irritation. I take a moment to appreciate the positive aspects of my trip, such as the company of loved ones, new experiences, and beautiful sights.

Practical Tips for Specific Situations:

1. Dealing with Indecisiveness:

    • When our group struggled to make a decision, I took the initiative to propose a solution or create a shortlist of options to make the decision-making process easier. If people wanted to do different activities, I mentioned that we could split up so everyone could do what they wanted rather than having the people unsatisfied with the activities. 

It’s hard to meet everyone’s expectations when many people are hanging out together. It’s OK to have disagreements, but just remember to solve the problems calmly and maturely. Don’t get into the heat of the moment and offend anyone. 

2. Managing Expectations:

    • Before the trip, I discussed plans and expectations with the group. We had a detailed itinerary that we were to follow, which helped us make sure we were all on the same page regarding the week's activities. 

On our Toronto trip, we faced numerous delays and indecisions. Initially, I felt frustrated and overwhelmed by the constant questions and lack of direction. However, by practicing mindfulness and focusing on the positive aspects of the trip, I was able to stay calm and enjoy the experience. While there were a few moments of disagreement and borderline unhappiness, we were all adults and resolved the conflicts calmly and orderly. At the end of the day, the trip was a success, and everyone was able to relax and have fun!