BUSINESS || One Tip to Improve Your Conflict Resolution Skills to Create Win-Win Situations
I'm always inspired to improve how I do business through reflective conversations with my friends, who also have to deal with people and associated conflicts every day.
One important gem that triggered an ah-ha moment for me recently was resolving conflict by approaching the issue using the other person's way, not your way.
We always come at problems with our way of conflict resolution, which often leads to the other party or parties being unhappy, creating a win-lose situation. Here's how you can make it a win-win.
Here's a simple example
Person A: Prefers to hash things out in person during one-on-ones. They are your typical type As, who want to resolve issues fast by talking it out.
Person B: Extremely uncomfortable in in-person meetings because their problem-resolution style is to take all the information, go home and think about it, and come back the next day with their thoughts. They do not like being put on the spot because they need the time and space to think.
In the above scenario, person A would usually be the one dominating the conversation unless they've developed the self-awareness to hold back on their dialogue and give the floor over to Person B. Unfortunately, this means that Person B is intaking all the information spewing out of Person A and trying to make sense of it on a shortened timeline that they're not used to.
Does your counterpart make decisions only after they’ve had time to digest and reflect on all the information? Respect their approach and allow them the time to resolve the issue their way.
In this situation, IF the duo arrives at a resolution, Person B would likely go home and think about it some more and feel that they missed the opportunity to air all their grievances. Instead, they sat through the conversation and reluctantly agreed with Person A's analysis, opinions, and recommendations.
Let's say you are Person A. What if, instead of rushing to set a meeting to work things out, you observe Person B's preferences when handling and resolving conflict? You noticed Person B is usually quiet during a session, but then shares pointed and valuable advice and recommendations a day later via email. While this isn't your preferred method of communication, you are aware that this approach may be more suitable to bring out the best in Person B so you hear all of their grievances and concerns instead of sweeping them under the rug.
This conflict resolution method requires you to leave your ego at the door. And disassociating from your ego is often necessary to resolve a conflict in a way that is satisfactory for all parties.
“This conflict resolution method requires you to leave your ego at the door. And disassociating from your ego is often necessary to resolve a conflict in a way that is satisfactory for all parties.”
If you can't entirely change your conflict resolution approach to adhere to Person B's preferences, you can meet them halfway. How about you reach out to set up an in-person meeting and let them know beforehand that you expect the session to be exploratory and you're not looking to rush to a conclusion? This approach would alleviate some anxiety for Person B because they will come into the meeting knowing they have more time to think before making their suggestions.
Try this when you encounter a conflict at work and see what happens. Then, both parties would feel they actually agreed on the proposed solution instead of being pushed to an agreement they didn't 100% want.
