ON SELF IMPROVEMENT || How to Really Learn From Your Mistakes
Today I want to talk about the age-old cliche of “learning from our mistakes”.
This is a phrase that is often repeated to us from when we are kids to when we are grown adults. Yes, we know we are supposed to learn from them, but the hard part is figuring out WHAT to learn from each of the experiences life hurls our way.
From what I have observed from the experiences of those I look up to, and also from my own experiences, ‘learning from our mistakes’ means figuring out what you NEVER want to happen again, and working hard to ensure you never find yourself in that situation again.
For those who have watched, or are watching the Netflix series ‘Sex Education’, Wiley says to her mom “people don’t find themselves in bad situations, you make bad choices.”
Learning from your mistakes means, not making the same bad choices again.
Just like learning to walk, everything takes time, even when we are trying to alter our decision-making process, time it required to change our behavior.
DWAYNE THE ROCK JOHNSON'S ’NEVER AGAIN’ STORY
I was listening to Oprah’s 2020 Vision: Your Life in Focus Tour, where one of the podcast episodes features Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson and he shared the story of a situation he never wants to find himself in again. When he was living with his parents at the age of 14, his family received a final eviction notice and he saw his mom crying, and at that moment, he said to himself that he never wants to be in that position ever again. At the time he was just a teenager, so he asked himself what he could do given his means, to get out of these situations, and he saw that his heroes, like Muhammad Ali, worked on their bodies (context: The Rock is a third-generation wrestler). So that was what he did.
The Rock worked towards his dream of playing in the professional football league. When he was 22, he finally made that dream come true, but he was cut from the Canadian Football League just 2 days after playing his first professional game; while his friends were buying million-dollar homes for their parents, he returned home to Florida to live with his parents with seven bucks in his wallet.
Needless to say, The Rock has since then worked his way up from the seven bucks in his wallet to becoming one of the highest-paid actors in the world, and running his own production company, Seven Bucks Productions. He attributes his current success to the aforementioned two key moments in his life because it was then that he decided he never wanted to experience the same thing again and set out to change the course of his life.
So, when something negative happens, it can help you figure out exactly what you don’t want, and if you actually learn the mistake, you will never, ever, want to repeat the same poor choices again.
MY ‘NEVER AGAIN’ STORY
Throughout the course of my first business, there were times when the business would run into cash flow problems.
I had to take out loans from friends and I hated that feeling because owing money to a friend, or anyone close to you, creates more stress and anxiety than when you are spending investor money, where investors know that there is a risk they may not ever see that money again.
There was also a time when I laid awake in bed wondering how I would make payroll the next day because the cash just wasn’t there - I had mismanaged the cash cycle and my accounts payable were ahead of my accounts receivables (which is often the case as businesses often provide clients with a ‘grace/credit’ period to pay their invoices, whereas we could never ask our staff to offer their employer a grace period for salary payments!)
I decided at that moment, when I laid awake dreading the next day, that I would never find myself in that position again.
My financial senses didn’t kick into high gear overnight, because learning how to manage cashflow properly for a business takes time (as with everything important skill), but for my next businesses, and even my nonprofits, I practiced the habit of proceeding with a venture only if I could see the venture being cash-flow positive.
Every decision is made only when I can take on the additional financial burden onto my business IF we are cash-flow positive after the addition. I do not HOPE that I will be able to make back that revenue after the fact, I will only advance if we have secured revenue streams.
Some may call me conservative, but in a time when a bull market is looming, political tensions are rising around the world, and currently, the novel coronavirus is making its way around the globe, I am sure glad I made a conscious effort to build and refine this skill.
WHAT IS YOUR NEVER AGAIN STORY?
I urge you to reflect on the experiences that have made you say ‘I never want to be in that position again’, and then evaluate whether you made the same bad choices again, or if you avoid them at all costs. If you managed to avoid the same bad choice, then you have indeed learned from your mistake, if not, then it is time to really put the phrase into action and ‘learn from your mistakes’.
