Pendulum Magazine

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SELF GROWTH || 3 Tips to Help Overcome the Fear of Confrontation to Have Constructive Conversations

Confrontation can be a scary thing. It can bring up feelings of anxiety, anger, and fear. 

But it's important to remember that confrontation doesn't have to be a negative experience. In fact, it is a necessary part of having healthy relationships and resolving conflict. When you are confronting someone, you are simply having an open and honest conversation with each other to resolve a conflict. Keep your mind open and remember to actively listen to what the other person has to say, because that’s how you would want them to listen to you. 

If you're afraid of confrontation, here are 3 tips to help you overcome your fear and have constructive conversations:

It’s always better to overprepare than be unprepared for important conversations. Gather and organize all of your thoughts before you let your thoughts pour out during the conversation. 

1. Prepare for the conversation. Before you have a difficult conversation, take some time to prepare yourself. Think about what you want to say and how you want to say it. You may feel like you are in the right, but the truth is that sometimes you may be the one at fault, and that’s okay. Be clear and concise, and avoid blaming or attacking the other person. Keep the focus of the conversation on the issue and not on the person. This means making sure you don’t start your sentences with “You did this…”

2. Choose the right time and place. Don't have a difficult conversation when you're tired, stressed, or angry. Choose a time when you're both calm and can focus on the exchange. Choosing a private place where you won't be interrupted is also important. Being in the right mental state is crucial to confrontation, as it’s essential for both parties to have the capacity and mental space to carry out a meaningful discussion and come to a decision. 

Confrontation is a form of self-growth. You are working on your communication and interpersonal skills. It’s an excellent skill to have as you grow older and encounter more opportunities and people. 

3. Be respectful. Even if you're angry or upset, it's essential to be respectful of the other person. They may feel emotional, and may not be able to control their reactions. Listen to what they say, and try to see things from their perspective.

If you can follow these tips, you'll be well on your way to overcoming your fear of confrontation and having constructive conversations. Remember, confrontation doesn't have to be a negative experience; they are open and honest discussions that can lead to positive outcomes, such as resolving conflict, improving communication, and building stronger relationships. Once you learn how to have these discussions with an open mind, the process will get easier–it comes with practice. Don’t be afraid to speak your mind, but remember that the purpose is not to attack others–it is to resolve conflicts in an assertive and understanding manner.