Please, don’t tell me what you really think. Tell me what you think I want to hear.

This is what the digital age has evolved into. Who would dare to share their ‘real’ opinion if it wasn’t behind the protection of an Instagram or Twitter handle?

While society continues the lip service of encouraging people to show their true selves, cyberbullying continues to make the news with the following concerning statistics. Source: bullyingcanada.ca

• Canada has the 9th highest rate of bullying in the 13-years-olds category on a scale of 35 countries. [1]

• At least 1 in 3 adolescent students in Canada have reported being bullied recently. [2]

• Among adult Canadians, 38% of males and 30% of females reported having experienced occasional or frequent bullying during their school years. [3]

• 47% of Canadian parents report having a child victim of bullying. [4]

• Any participation in bullying increases the risk of suicidal ideas in youth. [5]

• The rate of discrimination experienced among students who identify as Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Trans-identified, Two-Spirited, Queer or Questioning (LGBTQ) is three times higher than heterosexual youth. [4]

• Girls are more likely to be bullied on the Internet than boys. [6]

• 7% of adult Internet users in Canada, age 18 years and older, self-reported having been a victim of cyber-bullying at some point in their life. [7]

• The most common form of cyber-bullying involved receiving threatening or aggressive e-mails or instant messages, reported by 73% of victims. [6]

• 40% of Canadian workers experience bullying on a weekly basis. [7]

Some statistics are jaw-dropping, such as 40% of Canadian workers experience bullying on a weekly basis. That’s close to half of everyone who gets up to work every day! No wonder some people have bad days and anxiety, depression and other mental health issues are on the rise!

This is why while society appears to be encouraging one thing, the actions on an individual/personal level are skewing heavily in the opposite direction. Voicing your opinion line opens up yourself for a barrage of attacks, even if your comment was a simple question, someone could come along and say ‘what a dumb question’.

This happens much more frequently than you think.

MISINTERPRETING WHAT IT MEANS TO ‘BE YOURSELF’

Some would argue that expressing their opinions online, albeit interlaced with profanity and abusive language, is them ‘being themselves’. This is an unacceptable misinterpretation of what it means to ‘be yourself’ because this type of behavior is now causing harm to others.

Here’s the difference between expressing your opinion in an objective way versus a subjective, abusive way.

Objective: “There have been 13 cases of confirmed cyberbullying cases by teenage girls who have been identified as [insert ethnic race].”

Subjective: “There have already been 13 cases of confirmed cyberbullying cases! [Insert ethnic race] teenagers are the worse and should all be expelled!”

Do you see the difference? I hope you do, because one is a simple statement of the facts, whereas the other is infused with personal negative opinions and abusive language.

SO IS IT POSSIBLE TO BE YOURSELF?

Sadly, no, at least not in the current digital age where it seems the only way to avoid the drama of online bullying is to stick to sharing photos of food and your dog.

In a recent article published on cnbc.com, dated November 8th, 2019, 86% of Gen Z and Millenials would want to get paid to post sponsored content. The study was conducted by Morning Consult, which surveyed 2,000 Americans ages 13 to 38 about influencer culture.

Even my niece, who is 5, has expressed to me that she wants to be a YouTuber.

Being in the spotlight all the time trying to create the perfect visuals or being under the pressure to showcase a picture-perfect lifestyle is probably not good for your mental health, as outlined in this article published on the Independent, titled ‘Six Ways Social Media Negatively Effects Your Mental Health’.

WHAT CAN I DO?

Let’s start with that, because once you read the words ‘what can WE do’, it seems like the onus falls on a group of people and not just on you. So, what can YOU do?

For yourself, I would recommend cutting out digital device use and reducing it to just during work hours. Every speaker who has been asked what they want to change about themselves this year has given the answer of ‘I want to be more present’ - reducing your digital device use is the start of committing to being more present. It also means you will spend less time obsessing over how many likes you got on that post.

While this opinion piece doesn’t have all the answers to how we can tackle the current trends and societal pressures that prevent us from living as our real selves, I hope it at least made you think about your behavior, and the behavior of those in your circle, and how you can make a small change in the right direction starting today.